10 Steps to Becoming a Disgruntled Church Member

Step 1. Show up exactly on time or after the church service has begun.

Step 2. Look for anything and everything that could be wrong about the church (even though at one time you loved everything about the church) i.e., a song, an instrument, loudness, babies crying, not enough people my exact age, etc.

Step 3. Do not greet or engage anyone in conversation. Try to avoid people, get to your seat, and then sulk that no one spoke to you.

Step 4. Leave immediately after the church service has ended, or better yet, during the closing prayer.

Step 5. Find a reason to miss every Bible Study or fellowship opportunity that is offered during the week.

Step 6. Isolate yourself from the church as much as possible but blame the church for isolating you.

Step 7. Stop praying, checking on, and caring for the members of your church.

Step 8. Focus only on your unmet needs; do not vocalize them to anyone, and then get angry that they can’t read your mind.

Step 9. Work hard to find another disgruntled person who will commiserate with you.

Step 10. Create a final test of the church, that they will most likely fail at. Ex. “If no one asks how I am doing this Sunday (even though I showed up late and left early), then no one cares about me.”

Result: “I just don’t feel connected at my church anymore.  “I should look for another one.”